365 Days of Gratitude

This will be short and SWEET….today I am grateful for a delicious date with the hubby this afternoon, and by delicious I mean topped with cheesecake bites and chocolate-so yummy! (and yes, I’m only talking about the yogurt!:))

I heard a song on the radio today that reminded me of last night’s message….I can’t even remember all the lyrics or who sang it but one line caught my attention; the line was, “nothing is wasted, nothing is wasted.”  The song talked about how with God nothing is wasted; He doesn’t waste our pain, our disappointments, our failures, or our difficult life seasons.  He has a plan and works everything out for the good of those who love Him.  This truth is so comforting to me right now because even though I know that life is moving forward I still feel stuck in a waiting period and sometimes I wonder when “real life” will begin for me.  Sometimes I catch myself saying that out loud in conversation too and it sounds strange to talk as if my life right now isn’t real!  Hmmm…..if it’s not real then what is it?  I know that what I am living and experiencing is in fact real and is even what God WANTS me to experience and yet somehow I am still waiting for something better to come.  It’s as if I am holding my breath in anticipation for dreams to finally come true but the question that has been on my heart lately is….what if I’m waiting for the wrong dreams? Or what if what I’m dreaming about is not what God wants for me?  Would I be able and willing to surrender those dreams to accept the plan my heavenly Father has for me, a plan that I know in my heart would be better? 

These are such hard questions for me and I can’t figure out why….why is it so hard to trust a loving and perfect God, to put my life in His hands?  Don’t I trust Him enough to carry me through life? Don’t I trust Him enough to believe that He only wants what is GOOD for me?  As much as I love God and want to honor Him in all I do, the startling answer to these questions has been “no” lately.  I have come to realize that I struggle to believe that what God has for me is good so instead I hold onto dreams and think that I can will my life to happen the way I want it to.  I struggle to trust that this season of life hasn’t been wasted because in my mind I should have accomplished more by now and should be further along in life.  So I ask myself, if this season hasn’t been wasted then what has God done?  And when I reflect on my answer to this question my heart just sinks with conviction and remorse because I realize that God has done His most amazing work in my life during these past 4 years!  What I now label as the hardest season of my life (and I have been through many difficult seasons) has been a season marked by God’s goodness and faithfulness.  He hasn’t just changed outward circumstances by giving riches or material blessings because He knew that this wasn’t what I needed-none of us do.  You know it really doesn’t take a lot of improve someone’s standard of living on this earth-a pay raise, a new car, or a better house are enough to make someone feel that life is “better” or that they are more “well off,” however, these things are not indicators of the quality of someone’s life.  Only God can give someone a life that is filled with joy, peace, contentment, and love and God knew that when He answered “no” to all of my requests for things, things I thought would make my life easier or more manageable.  He knew that what I needed was not more stuff or more money or more security….all I needed was Him and that is exactly what He’s given me. 

This season was not a waste and it wasn’t a mistake because God is still a God who redeems everything we go through; He uses EVERY season good and bad to teach, to bless, and ultimately to bring us closer to Him!!! What an amazing day it is to receive a gift like this!  I am grateful beyond what this blog can even express-there are no words that can even come close to what God deserves in praise!  He is so good and today I am grateful to see my life not from my usual limited perspective but from God’s view and what He sees when He looks at me is a life that has been marked and CHANGED for the better, a life that has been freed through challenges and hardships, yes, but a life that will never be the same because of His redemptive work!

So grateful for my church community tonight!!!  I hadn’t been to The Lake in a while but I was so glad I went and believe that God had me there for a reason.  I needed to hear the message that was given and God definitely had something He wanted spoken into me tonight.   The speakers talked about letting go of our need to control and to allow God to direct our steps regardless of where He takes us (something that is so hard for me).  Comparing life to a road trip, they talked about signs we encounter in life, we sometimes come to stop signs when God asks us to stop or pause so that He can get in front of us and go before us.  Other times we are stopped because we need to go a different direction or just to stop something that isn’t what is God’s best for us.  The stop can be a hard sign to reach because it requires a change and for most of us change is hard and often painful.  I used to think I loved change until I moved here to go to school and had to adjust to change every 3-4 months with new schedules, new finances, new people, etc.  It was an adventure at first but after a few years I craved stability and wanted something to remain the same.  It was in these moments that I had to remind myself that even in situations that are constantly changing, God remains the same!

They also talked about hitting detour signs or going through “construction zones” in life which are seasons that you are being worked on in some way.  I feel that my life had been one major construction zone the past few years and I guess I’m just waiting for the work to finally be done so that I’m ready for the next season.  As we were discussing this though it hit me that as Christ followers we are always under construction because we will always have something to work on.  If the goal is to be like Jesus and Jesus is perfect that it seems to me that being under construction might be something I need to get used to.  Philippians 1:6 says, “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.”  What an encouragement!!  Not only does God care about us enough to do good works in us but that He promises to complete what He starts so no matter how distant and lost I can sometimes feel, God hasn’t forgotten about me and is always still working even when I can’t see it.  I love that God placed this on my heart today; it has filled me with so much hope for the future because I know that God WILL complete the work He started in me and I will see the fruits of His labor in me!

Today I had an interview in Chillicothe and there are SO many things to be grateful for.  First blessing was the fact that the family I nanny for was willing to rearrange their schedule to make sure that I had the morning free to get ready and go to my interview with no pressure to go to work until it was over.  It was so nice waking up and having time to go over my interview responses and to be able to take my time to not feel rushed or stressed going into it.  Blessing number two was simply God’s amazing presence that kept me peaceful and confident going into the interview; I felt a lot more confident and calm going into this experience and felt that God gave me the strength to remain calm and collected.  I was also so grateful for the gift of a positive perspective when I got the phone call telling me that I was not chosen for the position.  I of course was hoping to be offered a job but was amazed at how God took a situation that could have easily created doubts, frustration, or insecurity but all I felt was grateful!  I was able to see the blessing it was to have more interview experience and for the opportunity to meet administrators in other schools.  Thank you God for giving me this godly perspective that sees far beyond this one little experience, this one hour of my life, that has helped me to see the bigger picture of what you are doing.  You are doing far more that I even realize and I am so grateful Lord for your work in my life!!

Today I am grateful for an amazing message at church and the opportunity to share the experience with great friends while my poor husband was stuck at work.  The message was titled “Life’s Too Short to be Passive” and we watched a clip from last year’s leadership summit which was unbelievable!!!  I was so moved and inspired by the speaker’s testimony and her call for people to ACT on the passions and dreams that God gives them instead of waiting for God to move them into that dream.  The basic but powerful message was that while we are sometimes called to wait on the Lord’s timing, often we mistake a lack of perfect conditions or a vague picture of God’s plan as a sign that we must continue to wait passively for God to move.  In reality though, we will never have the complete picture of what God is doing and we will never have perfect conditions in which to be obedient to our callings; sometimes we must listen to that call and make the first move trusting that God WILL meet us where we are to give us the next direction.  I was so convicted by this because there has been a huge call and passion on my heart over the past several months to get involved in Orphan Care ministry in some way. This passion has grown stronger every day and yet I have been unsure of what the fulfillment of this plan would look like and have just been waiting for a clear message from God about what to do.  After hearing this message though and discussing it with a friend I am fully convinced that God is calling me to move and to move NOW!!  I am so excited to see what God will do through me as I take one step further into this calling and make the decision to take the path of action instead of passivity!!  God has amazing things in store for me and I am so grateful that despite all my flaws and weaknesses He wants to use me to make a difference and that no matter what challenges may come, He is walking with me through it all!

Today I am grateful for time with my husband to spend walking, talking, and dreaming together-those things will never get old to me!  We went to the Moss Avenue sale and enjoyed what we always love about garage sales…looking through other people’s junk and then of course trying to imagine how we could repurpose or reuse it in some creative or goofy way.  We always find the most unusual things and enjoyed a few laughs trying to figure out what some objects even were (seriously some very strange things out there!).  We also saw so many cute and crafty things that inspired me with some ideas of creative projects for the future.  Most of all though we were excited to look at home items and furniture and picture what we would want in our future home; we are so excited to finally be able to get settled in a house but we know this day is still a ways off for us.  It was still fun to look and dream together though!!  One of the highlights of the day was visiting with a friend of Rob’s and seeing all the renovations he had done on his home recently.  He also is someone who will be a great guide and mentor for us in the coming months as we get ready for a new life journey and for that I am so thankful for God really has put the right people in our lives at just the right time!!  We are so excited to build a great relationship with him and for the ways that God will use him and his situation to help us in our journey as well.

Today I am grateful for the opportunity to encourage and build others up because this is truly what helps me to put things into perspective.  I love how God uses our serving and giving to others to rebuild and encourage us as well!  I had a long talk with a friend today who is going through a lot of personal struggles; she is struggling over jobs, finances, and getting adjusted to living in a new place.  We talked for a long time about how difficult life can be in your 20’s because it seems that you go from one transition to the next and never feel completely settled or stable.  I know that this is a common feeling for most people in our age group but it doesn’t necessarily make it any easier but it really does just take a lot of prayers, encouragement, and the support of good friends to get through this time.  I was so grateful to be used by God in this way to encourage her and hopefully to reflect God’s love and peace to her in a time that is anything but peaceful for her.  I pray that God continues to use me and humble so that in the midst of some of my restlessness I would be able to remain joyful and full of thanksgiving for the blessings that I am currently in.  I am by no means where I want to be in life but is anybody?  Just realizing that this is the struggle of humanity and not something I alone am struggling with is encouraging to me and has helped me to see my life from a new perspective today and for that I am truly grateful!

Grateful for kind and encouraging words that have been spoken into my life this week-there truly is nothing more powerful that our words!  They have the power to build up or the power to destroy and I am thankful that the words spoken over me have been positive and uplifting and their echos will always resonate in my heart!  Thanks to all of the encouraging people in my life-you are precious to me!

I am constantly amazed by God’s perfect timing and plan for everything in my life!  Without going into too much detail since we are not ready to make anything official yet, my husband and I have been talking about our future and the dreams that we want to see come true (pretty exciting stuff by the way).  We feel like we have been waiting for such a long time for things to finally fall into place but I am grateful today for the peace that God has given us to be patient and wait for His timing.  It is so easy to always want things according to our own timetable and what WE think is right for us, but what I have been learning over the past few years is that when I let go of my right to control and demand my way with God, I am open to see His blessings.  One issue in particular for me has been about starting our family…it is a dream that has been so heavy on my heart lately that I can hardly think about it without crying.  I am consumed with thoughts about what that day will be like and the deep desire I have for this dream to finally come true.  However, despite the fact that it feels right to me and fits into my plan right now, I know that it’s not the right time.  God is faithful to provide but in His timing and not mine!  Despite how I feel though, I’m also grateful that He is choosing to teach me and prepare me for something greater than myself and deep down I know that I need this season of waiting to become stronger.  The greatest praise of all though is the way that God continues to place people in our lives who are guiding us closer to these dreams!! We have been amazed at how many people have stepped up to give us guidance, hope, and support as we embark on a new journey in life.  This is the greatest blessing of all because even though I have not felt that God is answering all my prayers directly, He is answering them and providing for us in a different way, maybe not the way that we prefer but the way that we need.  God always knows what we need and at what time and if only I could learn to recognize and be thankful for this each day, I might be able to find the peace that I am searching for.

What a blessing friends are!!!  I had the most wonderful conversation with a long-time friend who now lives in Georgia and it just made my entire day.  We talked for over an hour catching up on life, sharing our hearts, and talking as if it was our routine when in reality it is usually months in between each conversation (this definitely needs to change by the way).  I am so grateful for this particular friend and the history we share together and even more grateful to still call her a friend today.  It’s always such a comfort to talk to someone who knows your junk and has walked with you through some hard seasons in life-this friend in particular has been there for me during some of my darkest times and has definitely seen me at my worst.  Beyond just being grateful for friends and the support that that they provide in life, I am just grateful for the fact that we as people were made to NEED these relationships….we are people who crave community and fellowship with others and through that desire we pursue relationships with people who enrich and bless our lives.  A life without this desire would be empty and lonely.  We would be people living in isolation, fending for ourselves, and lacking the love and support that a network of friends can provide.  I love that God designed us this way knowing that we would all need one another to get through life.  He didn’t just leave us here to take care of ourselves but through His amazing plan and provision He puts people into our lives that will be used to take care of us and be examples of Christ’s love to us.  What an amazing gift this is, one that I sadly take for granted sometimes.  Today I am grateful to be aware of this blessing and to fully enjoy the gift that has been given to me through this friend and all my other friends as well.  I have been richly blessed beyond anything that money or possessions could give me because I have the greatest friends and community in my life right now and good friends are worth more than anything!!